Not Before Coffee

You know it’s going to be a very long day when you wake up and your coffee supply looks like this

And of course I’m a girlie girl who refuses to leave the house without a shower, eye makeup and lipgloss!

I know… sounds silly… But on those days when I just want to forgo the shower, walk with leg stubble, sleepy-looking eyes while pondering and experimenting on just why men like to scratch their asses so much, I hear the little voices of some very “influential” women from my youth saying “If you don’t look good for your man, someone else WILL.”

Is that NOT the worst? ARG!

See, I have this umm thing – this fear – this phobia – that if I leave the house looking less than presentable I will run into someone who knows my man.

And since I’ve had this rule from day ONE, that I (me, MOI) remain the best looking one in THIS relationship! Period! I’m. Not. Leaving!

We all KNOW as men age, they become distinguished.

When women age, they get old and have to compete with the younger, gold-digging women whose only aspiration <sarcasm> is to look like Barbie. And most of them get to because they are young, have more energy, harder bodies and are more uhem, flexible which somehow makes a man want to open his wallet and spend, spend, spend.

So There – Barbie is to blame for my lack of coffee! If anyone has a problem with it – take it up with Mattel cuz today – my giveadamn is busted.

There’s been an ongoing discussion in our house since the whole Psycho Mel Gibson meets really sucky melodramatic actress Oksana Grigorieva tapes hit the news.

Let me say clearly that Mel is a mess. Mel needs help and I will be shocked if his career EVER recovers from this mess.

That said – I just don’t buy all of this!

1. I don’t think the knocked out teeth picture is real. If someone had hit me in the mouth hard enough to break teeth – I’d have bruises, a busted lip, cut gums or some sort of recognizable trauma.

Now, what since it was veneers – well, I’m thinking biting into a Snicker bar the wrong way could have done that much damage. Right?

2. The phone tapes – Oksana sounds as though she’s going to fall back in a near faint while fanning herself with a dainty handkerchief in some sort of bad channeling her inner Russian Scarlet O’Hara.

With Mel’s ex-wife coming forward and stating that Mel was never abusive toward she or the kids – I have to think something is amiss.

This isn’t saying that it’s ok that he’s doing what he’s doing by any means – but I do believe he’s being coerced into these tirades.

Oksana knows the buttons to push and the more she pushes them, she sees dollar signs climbing. I have this nagging feeling she holds out until he has just the right amount of alcohol in his system or serves up the right combo of drugs to detonate the ticking bomb in him just before hitting the record button.

I’m just not buying the whole thing YET!

Something is just a little too fishy about this whole thing.

What do you think?

An intense dome of heat continues to loom over the Midwest and East Coast. Relief is reportedly coming Thursday – but something tells me we haven’t seen the last of this tropical heat wave yet.

Health concerns like heat stroke and exhaustion are likely when temperatures rise above 90 degrees.

The death toll has risen to double digits in cases that are directly connected with this heat wave. This is a major problem for homeless people who don’t have shelter from the scorching sun.

Missions and churches have opened up their doors as cooling centers to the homeless to provide some protection to them. People are urged to direct any homeless person they see outdoors to the nearest shelter, or at least give them a cold bottle of water.

Here are some tips on how to stay safe in this heat wave:

• Drink plenty of water (Gatorade, or any drink with electrolytes, does the trick too)
• Avoid caffeine it can dehydrate you
• Avoid excessive sun exposure
• Keep a close eye on the elderly, children and people with respiratory problems.

Stay safe and as cool as you can!

Do you have personal tips or methods you use to keep cool with the temperatures soar?