Is it ok to be kind of rude to unexpected guests?

Published by Gayla at 4:05 am under Coffee Break

I need help to settle a dispute that’s going with a relative.

Yesterday we were just about to sit down to family dinner. I mean table set, food out of the oven, ready to eat, ready! Someone unexpected came knocking on the door.

Any other time, we might have held off on eating, but my step-daughter was going to be leaving within the hour and we didn’t want to send her off with an empty stomach. We’d taken care to plan accordingly.

We fed her first and let her entertain the guest (which had come to see her mostly anyway) while the rest of us, including my dad who’d actually been invited enjoyed our meal.

I didn’t make enough for one more person and the roast could not be stretched for one more. It was G.O.N.E. gone!

Now my dad insists I should have invited the person to eat with us. I say the person should have called before popping in.

What do you think?

I felt it was well within my rights to be a tad rude when the person stopping in was rude to begin with.

Am I just being a big old brat?

 

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4 responses so far

4 Responses to “Is it ok to be kind of rude to unexpected guests?”

  1. # Liz Strausson 12 Feb 2008 at 4:27 am
    Hey Gayla,
    I think that it’s like interrupting someone at work . . . you expect that if they’re doing something when you get there, you’re going to have to wait. If you told me that you were eating a family meal and that you’d be done in a minute. I guess I’d only feel as awkward as the way you said it. . . .

    I don’t think you needed to feed the person, and I can’t imagine you made that person feel unwelcome.

  2. # Jenniferon 12 Feb 2008 at 5:15 am
    Honestly, it doesn’t sound like anyone was being rude to me. Your step-daughter’s friend likely wanted to see her before she left (not rude), and just because you didn’t plan for extra surprise people doesn’t make you rude either. It sort of sounds like your dad was the only one upset. At least, from just this post.

    I think schedules are weird now-a-days – there used to be an off-limit, don’t come over dinner time in most families.That’s rare now, so the rules need to adjust too. Overall it sounds like no one was rude though.

  3. # Domestic Divapaloozaon 13 Feb 2008 at 6:53 pm
    Your daughter’s friend should have called to make sure it was ok before just showing up. I am a firm believer in respecting other people’s boundaries and I don’t just show up at somebody’s house without calling to make sure that it’s ok first. Sometimes kids/teens don’t know any better in which case I would explain to that child/teen that next time they may want to pick up the phone and call first.
  4. # maryeon 19 Feb 2008 at 8:15 pm
    I agree with what you did but I would not have had the guts to do it myself..I would have said I was fasting and given them my plate.. : /