I heart my ex-in-laws

The one thing aside from my twins that came out of my first marriage was a valuable relationship with my former in-laws. 

Lots of people find it very strange that I adore my ex mother-in-law and her family.  We talk to each other often on the phone - end every call or visit with "I love you" and mean it.  I always make sure to include her and my ex sister-in-law and extended families into my plans for buying school picture packages, Christmas card lists and the boys sports schedules.

In fact, my relationship with my former in-laws is close enough that my current husband felt very threatened by them when we first married.  Since then he’s realized that these are genuine people, with good hearts and sincere intentions.  I don’t think you’d find a malicious bone in their bodies if you tried.

Ex-MIL goes through great pains to make sure the holidays are not stressful on the kids and she phones me at least two weeks in advance when she wants to block time on the kids schedule.  She’s one of the most considerate people I’ve met.

Perhaps my relationship with my former in-laws has me spoiled - because I believe all grandparents should call in advance to schedule time with their grandkids.  I don’t think just because they contributed one half of the parent value of a child that it gives them right to completely run rough-shot over the parent and make plans with the children without consulting the parent.

Given that my mother doesn’t live real close, this isn’t a problem with her.  And it wasn’t a problem when she did live close.

I do run somewhat a tight ship when it comes to schedules.  In fact, I’m quite anal.  I believe the parents of children should be consulted on every decision that involves that child.  If a grandparent wishes to take a child out to eat and to a movie, they should ask the parent FIRST and if it’s ok and doesn’t interfere with other family plans, then they can be given permission to ask the child along.

Should grandchildren be given the liberty to make plans to do things and go places with grandparents without consulting the parents first?

Am I being too big a beyoch over this?

    March 4, 2008 | Filed Under Blended Family, Parenting 

    Comments

    One Response to “I heart my ex-in-laws”

    1. marye on March 4th, 2008 9:34 pm

      my mom used to drive me nuts with taking over my kids…not such a problem now that she is dead.
      my grandkids do not have the benefit of good grandparents. My SILs mom could probably do a complete Broadway stage show of the Shining completely by herself…
      and MArc and i have kids the same ages as our grandkids so the little darlings aren’t as cute as theyw ould be if we have no littles at home ourselves..
      add to that that they live iwht us, making my twenty soemthing daughter and soninlaw just over aged teenagers with permission to have sex in my house…and me the Blessed Mother….
      well…I am not such an awesome gramma.

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