Not Before Coffee

It is hard to understand just what John and Kelly are feeling, unless you have lost a child. They tell you it will get easier with time, but I know that that is not so. You will wake up each morning and feel that feeling of lose, as if a part of you is missing.

Every day you will ask yourself why I didn’t try other doctors, or treatments why didn’t I check on him sooner. I know that when it is time for God to call, no matter what we do or don’t do, it will not make a difference. Being a mother I still just want that one minute that I can hold him and say," I love you sweetheart."

After a while the feeling that someone is sitting on your chest, will come less often. There will never be a day when Jett is not in John and his family’s thoughts.

The holidays are the worst; at first you think how can people laugh and enjoy themselves don’t they care? Yes they care, but they can put the pain aside for a while, we can’t.

Each year on the child’s birthday you think what would they be like; would they be married, would they have children?

When people that mean well say, "You need to get on with your life," it is because they don’t know what it is like to live in your shoes.

As the years have passed I find that I can laugh more and enjoy my children, grandchildren and friends more.

The longing never goes away, but you find that God gives you the grace to face each day.

I find that I love my children and grandchildren more then words can tell, and try to tell them every time we speak. I also want them to know that I am so proud of them, even when things may not be going so well in their life.

I would like to hear from other parent’s that just need someone to talk to that understands what they are going through that day.