Not Before Coffee

That’s it, I fold! That’s how it feels anyway. I’m not calling, seeing or raising – I’m folding on this thing called blended family – second marriage – total farce, you know, all the pet names you give a relationship as it begins to fall into the pits of darkness where it becomes no longer salvageable?

There are always two sides to every story and I take ownership of my own portion of this failed marriage. I know I’m not the overly affectionate type and I do tend to be a little on the serious Type-A personality type but when you’re placed in the position of being the responsible one, what other choice do you have.

Normally I’d keep things of this nature private – but something has happened in the last couple of days that I find to be utterly repulsive, irresponsible, inconsiderate and disrespectful – I’m just a tad pissed can ya tell? I’m just in awe that someone could even find the slightest justification for such actions.

Before my husband left, I printed out divorce papers. I signed them, asked him to sign them and was going to deliver them to the courthouse for filing so this whole nightmare could be over in 60 days. He didn’t want that. Nooooo…He wanted me to RE-print them putting his name first. He wanted it to be known that HE was the one who wanted the divorce.

UmKay – done! Got no problem with that because he who is listed first pays. No biggie.

I printed them out with names in reverse. He takes them and says he’ll file them. Then decides to hold off in case I change my mind. Let me make this clear – I have LOVED the peace and quiet lately.

Now, since I’ve been longing for this marriage to be over since June 2007, I don’t see the point – but no biggie – I’m in no hurry and won’t be rushing out anytime soon to get married again. A legal separation will do just fine.

Since he’d made some professional contacts and passed out so many resumes with his cell phone number on them, I allowed him to keep his cell phone. It was a nice gesture I thought – considering it’s in my name and I’ve been paying the bill for, well, EVAH.

Well, he comes over to get a few more things – he asks about an extra laptop I had. He asked how much I wanted for it. I told him to go ahead and take it – it’s running very slow from the abuse he and his son placed it under anyway – I’d not be able to get much out of it – so I told him to take it.

As it turns out – he’s using the laptop he asked me for to place personal ads – LOTS of personal ads. So far I believe the count is up to 5 sites. (Go ahead, ask me if this surprises me!) I know this because while we were married, he had an online affair with a woman that supposedly ended. I gave the marriage another chance – after that, I decided to not take any chances and since I’m one who needs solid evidence to cut most ties, I decided do a little sneaky business of my own.

I’ve been the victim of a cheater before and it left me with a life altering impression on the whole issue of cheating and the risks involved. I wasn’t willing to take great risks like that Ever again!

It’s not that I care that he uses the laptop for personal ads. The laptop was of no use to me. What bothers me most is him giving out the cell phone number to any desperate soul that would take it. The minutes were racking up and thank goodness, I monitor my cell phone accounts online. In response to the growing minutes and to avoid a huge cell phone bill, I suspended the account as if the phone were lost.

I just don’t understand how people can justify using other people in such a way. As if I owed him anything else.

Although I have to do a little dance because my divorce will be done and over in about 2 months where poor Sara is stuck with her assholio like some sort of wart that’s growing on her ass.