Not Before Coffee

My kids and I have! And it happened today.

Around my neck of the woods, young people don’t see the rebel flag as a symbol of anything other than “good old boys” and “the redneck yacht club” sort of groups – mine included.

While I’ve tried to impress upon them some of what the symbol means to some people, especially some people of color, I don’t think my point was ever truly appreciated until earlier today.

We had several errands to run and during our outing we decided to make a run for the border. The kids were craving Taco Bell and it didn’t sound half bad. When we arrived, a delightful and very pleasant employee named Freddie greeted us and took our order. We filled our drinks, grabbed our tray and found our seat in the corner that allowed us to people watch while enjoying our meal.

When no customers were in line, Freddie walked about the place cleaning trays, taking out trash and working hard – much more than any other employee that I could see.

We saw a young couple enter. They were in their early 20’s and obviously bent on making a statement. The girlfriend was in front of the guy so he had little reason to turn his back to Freddie other than to make sure Freddie saw the back of his shirt that displayed a pair of crossed rebel flags.

My heart ached as I watched Freddie force a smile and keep a level of professionalism that should be commended and rewarded.

The young couple took their seat and of course I am sure the scowl on my face told them what I thought of their horrible display.

It was at that point that I realized, yet again, that I’m raising my kids right. I’ve always heard myself speak to them, but have never heard them speak in a way that told me what I’d taught them had actually sunk in.

The conversation went something like this:

Son: Mom, why would someone do something like that?

Me: Like what?

Son: Wear a shirt like that into a place where it might hurt someone?

Me: I don’t know hon, people do stupid things for strange reasons.

Son: I feel bad for that guy. It may be ok to like the rebel flag, but that’s a personal choice and not one that should be worn out like that when it could hurt someone.

Me: I’m thinking if Freddie were a little bit taller and a little less friendly, the guy would have done everything he could to make sure Freddie didn’t see his shirt. I’m guessing it’s only because he was in a “safe” place to act big and bad, that he did what he did.

Son: Still it’s wrong and I’m sad for that guy.

Me: Now you see just how something as simple as a picture can crush a human spirit, right?

Son: Yeah

And that’s when the three of us sat quietly, trying to finish our meal – which lasted all of a few more bites as not one of us maintained the appetite we had walked in with.

Can I just say that no matter how frustrated I get in my kids sometimes – I am such a lucky mom to have teen boys who recognize the world around them and in a way that makes them recognize the times when a little human compassion is called for?

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