When a friend with a philandering husband first mentioned how helpful Gay Courter & Pat Gaudette’s How to Survive Your Husband’s Midlife Crisis: Strategies and Stories from The Midlife Wives Club had been for her, at first I was just happy for her to have some help during her situation. But the more she talked about the book — and the ease with which she went through the process of healing over the eventual loss of her marriage — the more curious I became about the book. So I read it.
While I am not dealing with a husband with a midlife crisis in my life, I found the book to be excellent — and most of the material could just as easily apply to a no-good-low-down-cheating-so-and-so too. How To Survive Your Husband’s Midlife Crisis offers the reader:
* ways to identify the problems & situation(s) they find themselves in
* proof that they are not crazy or alone in this mess
* excellent professional advice
* resources
* personal tips from survivors
* strategies for coping with it all
* and, perhaps most importantly, the honest & healthy reminder that you are not to blame for his midlife crisis.
Along with holding him personally accountable for his own emotions & behaviors, you’ll also be held accountable for your own reactions.
Yes, his midlife crisis will come with his depression, resentment, and anger — but you’ll have plenty of depression, resentment, guilt & anger of your own that you’ll have to deal with too.
He may be the one blowing your family’s meager savings on some expensive toys, he may be the one cheating, he may be avoiding his responsibilities to you & the children — he may be avoiding his children altogether, but how do you react to that?
And when you find yourself blindsided by the discovery that family & friends, people you’d expect to be on your side, blame you for all his crazy, inappropriate behavior… What then?
How To Survive Your Husband’s Midlife Crisis offers perspective on these and many more issues, so that even if you can’t avoid these pitfalls, you are better prepared to go around or through them.
I was thrilled to discover that the authors not only recognized that his midlife anger & depression may lead to verbal, emotional &/or physical abuse but also devoted many pages to the subject, including how you can recognize when his behaviors are abusive, how to take the situation seriously, & how to deal with it safely.
The one thing How To Survive Your Husband’s Midlife Crisis does not do is tell you what you should do; the decision to stay with him or get rid of him is as personal as it gets, and the authors respect that. They’ve given you the tools & support you need to make the right choice for you — now it’s up to you to make it.
Article by Alessia
