5) Blue Ball vs. Climax – The city of Blue Ball is located in the Amish region of Pennsylvania, where the ladies prefer bonnets to bikinis and a fiddle over an iPod. Climax is situated far off on the opposite side of the state where your chances of getting there are… about zero.
4) Yakutsk, Russia – With a record low of -67 degrees Fahrenheit in March, going outside in board shorts will result in more than one blue appendage to complain about.
3) Kabul, Afghanistan – Unless your idea of fun is playing hopscotch across an IED-riddled mine field, you'd do well to get your adrenaline rush elsewhere.
2) San Quentin State Prison – That sauna you're wandering into is actually a gas chamber, and as a bonus, you're sharing a hotel bed with the ghost of Charles Manson.
1) Haiti – Haiti got all the Spring Break necessities: gorgeous weather, pristinely desolate beaches, and a complete lack of infrastructure. We love our Haitian compatriots and because the crisis is far from over, we remind everyone to donate $10 to the victims of the Haiti earthquake by texting HAITI to 90999.