When certain people show up on your friend suggestions and it makes you gag, cringe and then throw up a little.
Seriously!
It doesn't happen to me often because I've done a good job at blocking the three people who can turn the best of days to the worst of days with the mere sight of their ugly mug!
Unfortunately, I have this ex who likes to create new profiles. God only knows why! But when he does, his ugly, psycho-looking mug always appears on my “suggested friends” list. Obviously Facebook has yet to perfect their algorithm enough to keep the unwanted trash out of my feeds.
This morning I got a bogus friend request. The kind where you have one friend in common and it's obviously someone who will friend anyone and everyone – including the hot girls, with one image who promise their undying love and affection to any poor sap, for a small fee.
As soon as I rejected said friend request, the suggestions popped up. Instantly I was thrust back to the most troubling, horrific, despicable time of my life. Truly my the BIGGEST MISTAKE of my life.
To put this in perspective, I don't care for the father of my kids one tiny bit – I feel sorry for him, but I certainly don't hate him and he's done some pretty terrible things to me. Of course, I allowed it – so what's a girl to do?
But this guy? He is the lowest of the low. Spawned by the bride of Satan himself. Never liked the woman, not one bit. She was mean and made her poor husbands life hell. Poor guy. But again, he allowed it.
I don't know that I have ever known anyone so completely lazy! Seriously. I remember us getting into a HUGE fight, the kind of fight where police show up at your door. When the police arrived, they asked what the problem was, I told them the BIG problem was, he wouldn't get a freaking JOB!
When I got with him, he had two jobs. Who knew a month after I married his ass, he would bail on his jobs and become the biggest leach EVER!
BUT, I'm a smart girl – I always find my way out. It took me TWO years of planning and marking off my checklist, but I got there and when I did, I had my OWN beautiful home where my kids and I were SAFE from his craziness.
When he left, it was with a gun laid on my shoulder. I looked him in the eye and told him I'd rather be dead than to live one more day with him. I told him to do me a favor and if he was going to take me out, to take my kids out too – there was NO way I wanted them to go through life without the ONLY parent they really had.
He told me he was going right then to the attorney and that he wanted to be the one to file for divorce. He wanted the world to know he was the one that left me.
Okay, no problem.
The process drug on and on because he was trying hard to take advantage of me much more than he already had. I phoned the attorney and they said they had the papers ready that I could come in and sign them. When I got there – they also told me he had said I would be paying the balance of $700.
As it turned out, he was the one that filed, he paid something pithy like $50 and left the balance to me. So I paid it and asked them to make it happen as quick as they possibly could.
What was $700 more dollars when he had already taken me for well over $100k? FIVE years I supported him. FIVE years I put up with electric heaters in a BARN, FOR CHICKENS! FIVE YEARS I put up with a coffee cup of the month bill of $30+ for a man who didn't even drink coffee. FIVE YEARS I put up with him screaming and yelling at my kids and I was at my breaking point.
There are times I struggle with the massive loss I endured because of him – but in the end, it was worth it to get to where I am today.
Today I have an amazing, responsible husband that is a great provider. I work because I want to – not because I have to. I have a beautiful home. I have an amazing lake house, boat and life is peaceful.
Still, the fact that his pathetic mug shows up on my Facebook feed makes me sick. Sick for any woman who ever encounters him and ever believes his lies.
There's a very special place in hell for that one! I just know it.
NaNonFiWriMo – The Write Nonfiction in November (WNFIN) Challenge, also known as National Nonfiction Writing Month (NaNonFiWriMo), where I have accepted the challenge to start and complete a work of nonfiction in 30 days. Read my other NaNonFiWriMo posts here
As long as I’ve known you you’ve been driven. Makes sense having read this, and my friend, I am proud of you! Jim